That weekend my uncle was awesome enough to fly both my brothers down to DC to visit me so I hung out with them all weekend which also made me less likely to google anything. Luckily they are easily entertained because while the decadron makes it hard to sleep, the keppra made me extra sleepy and after two nights of not sleeping in the hospital, keppra was winning the sleep battle. They got entertained from my couch while I napped on and off. Actually, it was the first time I was present for an entire Carolina Basketball game viewing with Katie & Shannon...though I did sleep through most of it :-). We did go out for a few dinners though, brunch and a general wandering around the area, I just wasn't up for touring the museums and monuments which was fine with them.
They both left Sunday afternoon and I spent Sunday evening and part of Monday "preparing" in what I thought was the appropriate way. I did three weeks worth of laundry, made sure my cats had enough food and clean litter, and I made an attempt at cleaning my room. My surgeon had told me he estimated a 48 hour hospital stay but I knew things could come up and I wanted to make sure those little errands were done. I packed an overnight bag for myself complete with extra sweats and t-shirts, plenty of "Friends" episodes and my laptop. My parents arrived Monday afternoon and we all, with Katie, went out for dinner. We ended the night pretty early (though I think I still got to bed late) because I had to be at Hopkins at 5:45 for a pre-op MRI and it takes about an hour or a little more to get there. My 4am wake up call came way to soon!
Strangely enough, I was not nervous and despite my past history of severe anxiety over trivial things like erg tests and care plans, I had none. I think, for the first time in my life, I accepted that this was something I was not going to be able to control on my own and I was ok with that. I had trust in the hospital I was going to, in the team members I had met and yet to meet. I had more people than I can even imagine or possibly ever thank praying for me and sending good thoughts and vibes my way. I was going to be fine. I had a strong and supportive wind at my back bringing me through this.
If you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control.
But it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you
- StoryPeople by Brian Andreas